Bajrangi Bhaijaan in Parliament (Satire)

This morning; I was on the treadmill at the gym; in pursuit of fulfilling my own mantra that 50 is the new 30 - just like the lead actor of "Bajrangi Bhaijaan" - Mr. Salman Khan. I had just about achieved and maintained the desired heart rate, when out of boredom from spot jogging; I decided to watch the news.  I read the 5 point strategy set by the Congress Party for the monsoon session of Parliament, and  My heart rate took a vertical climb faster than any fighter jet. The News channel's flash read something like this:

1. Make Parliament floor the theater for dramatizing controversies (whole of India is watching Big Boss).
2. No Motion until Resignation (don't confuse this motion with the bodily motion that was the star of a film called PIKKU. It has to do with a couple of BJP leading ladies though).
3. Oppose any real issues like GST and Land Bill (how can BJP take credit for passing them when it was thought of in Congress time?)
4.  Disrupt Parliament with protests. (I don't think this is the same disruption that tech boys keep talking about in a foreign accent nor is protest some new app. It has more to do with unparliamentary behaviour in Parliament - wow!)
5. Mrs. G and Son to lead the battle. (How is that a strategy?)

I had no choice but to hit the cool down switch immediately upon seeing the next piece of news flashed -

Sushma Swaraj to expose Congress leader in Parliament.  

The Congress spoke person's retort to her statement was "please do" knowing that such empty threats don't mean a thing to any politician.

I am pretty sure I had selected a news and not an entertainment channel. Well; it was neither news nor entertainment. What is disturbing is that we as a Nation are paying in cash and progress for this bad attempt of politicians to show each other who is the "Biggest Boss", and like all stars now; demanding a 100% hike in salary and perks for the same - while asking the tax payers to give up their LPG subsidy. (Many have complied too).

The media seems to be hungry for content.  It is lapping such drivel up with the obvious reasoning that the people of this great Nation love the chaos being played out in the circular temple of our Republic. Maybe;I should try my hand at politics and fulfill the prophecy of our family astrologer.

Post lifting some weights I had a strategy of my own to get the weight off my mind. I called up a politically connected friend in Delhi to pick his brains on how to go about writing my CV for a political career with a short cut to the top - that's being Indian. Knowing me well he said 'Bhaijan; if you come across as a thinker, there is no place for you in the BJP at least. In that party only 2 people think rest act; and sometimes without any direction. You are too old to join the RaGa gang and too young for Madam's circle; so Congress is pretty much out. You don't have a 'pehalwans' (wrestler's) body to join any of the coward (I think he meant cowherd) parties. That leaves only one party where you can get direct admission to top.' Silence and suspense. I broke it by saying 'Aap batau' (you say). He said 'So smart you are. Of course AAP Bachau (save AAP - the phone line must be really  bad). It needs major saving after all the problems it has created for those who elected them. Free water, cheap electricity all subsidized by VAT on diesel - LOL. Their leader is a fast learner of politics and I am sure under his tutelage you too will ace it. But Sirji; you have to fulfill one requirement; I don't know if you are capable of doing it'. I was all eager and all ears. 'Sirji practice "dharna". Now days no one shows up for any agitation.' 'What? Like sit in for protests? But is that  not more of a Congress thing now?' I asked. 'Sirji don't get into the nutty grutties of all this and be like "Bajrangi Bhaijaan" following Nike's advice - just do it. If you keep questioning everything then become a journalist or activist,' he said with a bit of agitation in his voice. Guess he was better suited for protests and agitations and possibly anarchy. I thanked him for his sage advice.

Politics as practiced today may not be for me (sorry Mr. Astrologer); and nor are the happenings in parliament suited to that institution (sorry Mr. Politician). There was a joke that did the rounds a few years back. The death verdict passed on those who attacked the Parliament to kill the members in session was certainly right; but, for failing in their task. (Sorry again - anyone who is offended). Our Nation deserves better. The institution that gives us our laws has to be respected by those appointed as members and they should remember that Parliament Circus is not the circus they may have in mind. And if all they believe is that they are providing the masses with is entertainment, entertainment and entertainment then maybe they should bring 'Bajrani Bhaijaan' in to Parliament. I am not suggesting Mr. K himself; even though he would have no problem in getting elected even as a PM; should it be left to his fans in India and across our shores. Maybe the character he has played so well will influence some if not all in true patriotism, commitment, duty, selflessness and humanity. I am off to see "Bahubali"now to inspire me on something or the other.




Washout of monsoon session of Parliament will lead to Rs 260 crore loss 

Read more at:
http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/articleshow/48212039.cms?utm_source=contentofinterest&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=cppst